Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Going the Distance for the Ones You Love: Breakfast Omelets

It's been said breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but how many of us really know how to prepare one? Let's face it, pouring cereal into a bowl of milk, finding that straggler slice of pizza in the box under the couch, or downing a glass of OJ don't really qualify as great breakfasts ... but omelets do.

Let me tell you how I go about treating my family to this breakfast cornucopia: to begin with, I wash off the veggies, culling any specimens deemed inferior in appearance or freshness. I then rinse, slice and dice. While the girls fancy ground pepper, white onions, and sautéed mushrooms, the boys like green peppers, tomatoes, and are hit and miss on the 'shrooms. Oh, and did I mention bacon? Of course not. Who needs to? Everybody loves bacon in their omelets -- or on their cereal, in their coffee, and over their French toast.

But I digress.

Anyway, so I take all the veggies and arrange them in separate bowls. Then it's time to grill up the ham, fry up the bacon, and sizzle up the sausage, artistically displaying each in their separate bowls as well.
Then, and this part I truly love, I grate the cheese, making sure to shred a quantity sufficient to meet their needs -- and then I grate some more. After all, it's cheese.

Enough said.

Now comes the real magic. I crack the eggs, drop them into a large bowl, and whip them to a bubbly froth. When this is accomplished, my next performance is the hash browns. Sometimes I just pull them out of the freezer, but on special occasions they're made from scratch, adding Old and New World spices, along with a judicious smattering of select ingredients, hailing from the various bowls rimming the counter.

After this, I set out a loaf of white bread for toasting, complemented with butter, jams, jellies and cinnamon powder. (Bacon is optional, but recommended.)

Then, if somehow they've slept through the orchestra of sounds and smells wafting from the kitchen, I wake up the family.

Entering the dining area, each grabs a plate and a couple slices of bread. Successively, they drop them into the toaster and contemplate their forthcoming selections. They then start calling out their omelet orders. With spatula in hand, I begin conducting from center stage. The clockwork-like synchronicity required to field their requests and simultaneously prepare omelets takes years to acquire. Now, a controlled blur, I'm pouring eggs into two hot skillets, sprinkling in their chosen fixings, gently lifting the omelets' browning edges, expeditiously flipping over the firming mixtures, adding more cheese and, finally, heat searing the contents into a plump and radiant egg envelope. Careful to leave my signature -- a slightly tinged crust of wispy egg fluff -- I admire the finished product.

Now in case you're thinking I'm a one-trick pony, I also customize pancakes. Among the family faves here are big-eared bunnies, smiley faces, Disney characters, and Gothic initials.

Guys, the takeaway is this: fixing breakfast for your family is a way to show off your culinary skills and kitchen technique. More importantly, it's a way to bring your family together and, if necessary, earn some monster points with the woman you love.

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