Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Brotherhood

I was talking with a friend who had a friend going through a rough patch. It seemed his longtime, serious girlfriend was breaking it off for good. Then he found out his job was in jeopardy. Then his car went on the fritz. Saddled with what seemed like a world of problems. He was having trouble sleeping, and his stomach was giving him fits. He had more debts than income, and soon what income he had might be gone too. All in all he was having a miserable week.

I'd venture to say most of us have been there at one time or another.

Perhaps you are there now.

It seems my friend's friend was having a time of it coping with his troubles. Not surprisingly, yelling didn't cure his ills; neither did alcohol, volcanic cussing, or putting his fist through the drywall in his basement. On a gut level, each of those actions did remove some of the anger, hurt and frustration -- but only for a little while.

He was feeling hopeless and unloved when he happened to reach out to his brothers.

Each one was able to listen without judgment, hearing his pain and hurt.

Each was able to offer words of affirmation: "You are important. You are valuable. You are loved"-words he so desperately needed to hear.

Each gave him a practical solution, or at least some words of wisdom and the prospect of hope-a way out of the dark place he was in.

Men, we need to be there for our brothers, not only those related to us by blood, but those who are in our sphere of influence. It may be the man next door, the man in the cubicle next to you, or the man next to you in church.

Each time you meet someone, whether they're longtime friends or new acquaintances, there's more to their lives than what meets the eye. You really don't know what's been going on in his life behind closed doors.

On average it's probably safe to say that guys tend to bear the weight of their problems stoically, refusing to reach out to others for help and, if it's offered, often making light of their need for it.

Men, if you are in a hard place, talk to your brothers. Ask them for help. Reach out.

Brothers, if a request is made, consider it thoughtfully. It wasn't easy for your brother to make it.

Be there for him.

We are family.

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