The Perfect Lawn

After last winter's record snowfall and bitter cold, many began to doubt if they would ever see grass on their lawn again. But with the Mother's Day snowfall in Denver now melted, it looks as if we are again at a place where we can get serious about our lawns. With that being the case, we are now on a quest to find the perfect combination of weed retardant chemicals; rich, organic soil; perfectly suited nutrients; and life-giving water in order to produce a full, lush, green lawn: the envy of homeowners around the nation -- or at least down our street.

This is the time of year debates begin to break out in the lawn and garden sectors of your favorite home improvement stores. Will it be Bermuda or fescue? -- Kentucky bluegrass or zoysia? -- sod or seed? It also seems folks have an equally strong opinion on such things as aerating, feeding, weeding and watering. Nothing gets guys going like a hearty discussion over the grill about the merits of maintaining a perfect lawn.

And if those topics aren't enough to generate heated debates, the whole subject of how and when to cut lawns can keep guys talking until the last burger is scooped off the grill.

In spite of all the differences, the goal of each man is to have the perfect lawn, i.e. one the greens keepers at the Augusta Country Club would be proud to show.

Now I'll let you in on a little secret. In spite of what the man next door with the green lawn thinks, I have the perfect lawn. The front yard is usually brown, except for the bright green patch over to the side. This is where the kids set up the sprinkler or the Slip-N-Slide. On hot summer days the sounds of squealing children can be heard as neighborhood kids run through the water, slide down the watery runway, and create huge mud holes in an otherwise mediocre lawn. When I look at the splotchy patches I have to smile, knowing how my lawn has given kids dozens of summertime memories.

And the backyard?

Well, it's not much better, with its worn, brown patches of dirt outlining a baseball field. The path from "home" to "first" is the most treaded, while the line from "third" to "home" shows some promise that grass might grow again -- the result of too many men left stranded on base.

For me the perfect lawn is the one kids feel free to run over, creating their own little universe: a ball park one day, a jungle the next.

Someday I may have the lawn men envy, but for now, it's the one kids enjoy, and that makes me smile.