Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Life Changing Moment - Marriage

Are you married? I am. How did it happen? I mean how did you come to the decision that this was the right woman? When you asked her, did you spring it on her in the movies where she was completely taken by surprise, nearly panicking at your offer? Or was it something that just seemed to make sense -- a decision that just kind of came about?

Now when she said, "yes," the idea of being married moved from the conceptual to practical, and that's where things can get a little dicey. The wedding is planned. Not since the Normandy Invasion has this much detail been put into any project. Guest lists, the wedding gown, tuxedos, registries, churches, halls, colors, attendants, housing, food, drink, honeymoon, songs, photography, flowers, cake, music, and all other sorts of details are attended to -- all with the goal of everything coming together for the perfect wedding. At some point, I know I and many of my married friends who have gone through the planning stage have entertained the brainstorm of a quick Vegas wedding as a more reasonable option. You know this is true, and don't get all righteous on me. Most weddings are 90% hype. The Women's Entertainment Network even has a whole show dedicated to the problem of the wedding called, Bridezilla

Like I said, I am married. Was the wedding worth it? We let me put it this way -- we got some nice pictures and the wife was happy. When you marry the right woman, life gets better in ways you can really appreciate only after you've been there. You need to put in some time and experience, some bumps along the road. I can't really explain it well. I wish I could, but it's well worth it. You know, it makes so much more sense to me now why God uses the metaphor of marriage to describe His love for us. He calls the Church His bride. Not surprisingly, it is the perfect metaphor. In our limited capacity, we can glimpse the vast amount of love He has for us through the context of marriage. It is and will be better than we could ever imagine.

So how was your wedding? Did you get any surprises? Would you do it the same way? Was it all worth it?


Anonymous said...

OK...just a little over 38 years ago, I proposed to my wife in front of the state mental hospital. She was interning there and living in the nurses quarters. It wasn't really planned. We were just sitting on a park bench with lots of strange noises behind us and I thought it would be a memorable time to pop the question. Her answer, "Of course!" I wonder of the location of the proposal has shaped the marriage in any way?!

The Layman said...

As many did, we video-tapped our children's weddings, and as our family has aged the videos are still full of memories of those who attended but are no longer with us. It does put more meaning in honoring thy parents...and living long on the earth. Another sign of the times is seeing all of the aunts and uncles who did not get a divorce, while wondering about the youth who did. My wife was a car-hop who told me she was a Sunday School teacher in a LCMS local church, so we had a instant match. I always said it was a match made in Heaven, and in my down moments.....I wonder if any other man would have put up with her for 40 years....He he! God knows huhh?

gemery said...

Time is the unexplainable factor when I try to "counsel" my own children and their future marriages. How true is is that it get's better with time, and I wouldn't ever have imagined it could be this good! I proposed in a parking lot at Concordia-Seward 28 years ago. We had been seeing less of each other for a month or so, and then I realized I couldn't live without her! Thank God she felt the same way!! Total surprise to her, not too romantic, but it worked!

jeffrey said...

My wife and I got married 3 weeks after I graduated high school (she's a few years my senior). Everyone said that we didn't have a chance. That was almost 22 years ago...I proposed on Valentine's Day, 1987.

We knew we wanted to be married. We even picked out the ring together. I had to put it on lay-away and pay for it little by little. I had secretly stashed away some extra cash and went and got it out of hock without her knowing. So though she knew my official proposal was coming, she didn't expect it on Valentine's Day.

We had a nice wedding on a budget, with 150 of our closest friends and family members - all for under $3,000. I would encourage all who read this to pay more attention to the marriage than to the wedding.

Was it worth it? Of course. Has it always been easy? Not a chance! Love is not only something you feel, but true love, in the biblical sense, is something you do. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Eph. 5:25. This kind of love doesn't go running as soon as things get difficult. In my marriage, God has used challenges and conflict to make us grow, and in the process, brought us closer together as husband and wife.

agedwirehead said...

I am the least romantic man on earth. Oh, I think I am trying, but in retrospect I can always see the disaster I have created. Thank God this has not prevented my wife from loving me!

My proposal was, "I am moving to Houston, I want you to marry me and move down with me." The most embarrassing part of this is that I had actually pondered this extensively. I knew I loved her and that she was the finest person I knew, and that with a lot of work (and changing on my part) we could be happily married. 27 years later, we both agree about the work and change.

This was only possible with God's loving hand in our marriage, directing our ways--when ever I realize I am not paying attention to Him.

Herb said...

I proposed to my future wife at Valpo and moved the city gal to a farm in Minnesota. I am an only child so was very selfish and self-centered at first but she stuck with me. We had many challenges during our 47 year marriage including a son being treated for leukemia for 10 years and dying at age 12. I had colon cancer in '88. Farming is always a challenge but it did give us the opportunity to travel extensivly in the states and around the world for which I am very thankful now. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor in '04 and died a year later.
A few months later I met a very nice lady in church who lost her husband suddenly of a blood clot several months before my wife died. We immediately hit it off and have been together ever since. We choose not to marry because at age 70, it can create many legal and financial problems. We are totally committed to each other which our church and the Lord understands as He put us together. Worshipping and having daily devotions together is the highest priority in any marriage or relationship especially at our age. We both are benefitting from the lessons learned the first time around.