Merry Christmas from the Men's NetWork

"In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with Child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn Son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

"And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a Baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased!'

"When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.' And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this Child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them" (Luke 2:1-20).

May the Babe of Bethlehem bring you peace and joy this Christmas.

Over the River ...

Soon it will be time to pack up the family and head out for Christmas. Since Christmas is known as the one time of the year when the family gathers together, it is safe to imagine most of us will be heading for our parents' or grandparents' house, depending on our stage of life. Since we live in a time when families are separated by states and time zones, this trek usually entails a long car ride or a seemingly equally long airline flight.

Finances will dictate that most of us will load up the family sedan and head out on the road, with our toddlers strapped into age- and weight-appropriate car seats, and our pre-teens separated, so they can't touch each other. Teens old enough to drive usually can chauffer for a stretch and let dad sleep in the back seat. On the other hand, teens with a driving permit are hard to control; they want to drive, but tooling the family around may not be the best way to give them experience. That one's your call.

So I will assume you are headed out for a three or four hour (maybe more) junket and are looking for ways to keep the family calm and talking to each other.

A few tips I've picked up from some new parents are the following:

1. Have a DVD player, iPad, or other interactive device that entertains, informs, and otherwise keeps the crowd occupied. This will allow dad the quiet to actually concentrate on the game, while mom has the opportunity to read her book. Note: Be sure to either have a full battery charge or bring along an alternate power source. Nothing is as nerve-wracking as a child who can't finish the episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

2. Kid-friendly snacks always give the option of filling tummies, without breaking a $20 every time you stop. Wise dads and moms bring along carrots as well as cereal bars. Note: be sure to bring water and make sure you clean out the seats when arriving at your destination. It is amazing how much food is stashed in the crevices of the car seats.

3. For grade school children a nice repertoire of songs and family stories can engage their minds, as they learn a little family history and traditions. Note: The stories and song route only lasts so long, so be sure to bring along the Nintendo or Gameboy to help pass long hours cooped up in the back seat.

4. For pre-teens and older children the headset connected to the iPod seems to last the longest. Note: Be sure to work out a signal to let the kids know when their vocal solos are too loud or off key.

For those who are making the journey by plane, the best advice I can give is make sure you get seats together and find as direct a flight as possible. Infants need something to relieve the change in air pressure upon take-off and landing.

But no matter how you're travelling, one thing I know for sure. Your presence on Christmas is often the best present you can give your parents or your children's grandparents.

Be sure to keep that in mind as you hear, "Are we there yet?" for the nineteenth time.

Read the Directions

I know we are guys and we can change if we have to, but most of us don't want to, especially when it comes to putting together those Christmas gifts marked "Some Assembly Required." Now I'm not saying the directions are too complicated. After all, I do have a college degree. It just seems to me happier times would be had if all the directions were presented in an easy-to-see, simplified version, with lots of pictures -- not clumsily drawn illustrations. I'm thinking along the lines of the one-page directions that come with electronic products. You know -- those "Quick Guide" ones. When it comes down to it, all we need to know is how many pieces get screwed together, with what screws, and where do we put the batteries. A few color pictures with some arrows marked "Step 1," Step 2," etc. should suffice.

Like most guys, I've put together my fair share of last-minute Christmas gifts, with the goal that whatever I put together lasts at least until dinner is over. That's because if it breaks after dinner, I've bought a couple of days to actually ponder the instructions and see what I did wrong -- or find someone or something else to blame the breakage on.

When it comes to paper directions, I understand why the precautions are legally necessary. Man is a funny being. Somewhere someone must have decided his bath water wasn't warm enough, so he plugged in his electric heater and tossed it in with him. He could have been related to the guy who thought it was a good idea to run his electric chord under a throw rug and then put his rocking chair over it. Still, it seems to me some of the directions given are just plain common sense. I really don't plan on giving my toddler a plastic dry-cleaner bag for his Christmas gift this year.

Then, of course, there is the exception that proves the rule. You know the time. It's when you are so frustrated you're ready to toss the toy through the window, rather than figure out tab A from slot C. And then, much to your chagrin, your wife picks up the instruction manual and explains the solution to you -- in terms a five-year-old could get. Not only is it frustrating, it's really humiliating.

To ward off these situations, I have made a new resolution this year: if I have to assemble it, I don't buy it.

And if it does come down to something I actually have to put together, I will make it a joint family venture on Christmas Day. That way we can all learn to work as a team!

After all, team sports are more fun anyway, aren't they?

End Times

On those long midweek nights without football and hockey, it's easy to remember the Mayan prediction the world will end in a mere 17 days on December 21. As tempting as it might be to max out the credit card at Best Buy, it would probably not be the wisest of moves. In spite of the best efforts of some doomsayers to convince us life as we know it will end, I'm pretty sure that December 22 will be life as we know it.

But all the talk about the end times has had some benefits. I know a few new dads and new husbands who have started thinking more seriously about their futures. They've drawn up wills, established powers of attorney, and put some health directives in place. They've purchased insurance policies to provide for their families, and they've even put some protection in force to pay for their kids' college diplomas -- should dad not be around to see them get their sheepskins. More young men are taking the time and effort to plan for their own end of days.

All this is a good thing. Thank you Mayan prediction-makers!

The provocative power of the ancients surely prompted some of my own soul-searching, especially as I drove to and from work, pondering what I would be remembered for if my life was over in a 17 days. Questions like "What will people say about me when I'm gone?" "What will I be remembered for?" and "What will my legacy be?" remind me my days are numbered, and the old axiom "there's no time like the present" couldn't apply more.

When it comes to legacies, most men want to be remembered as being a good husband and father, hard-working and well-thought of. This is particularly true for those among us who are new dads.

Being remembered for such things is not the result of a one-time event, of course; it's the honor that comes from living our lives in a certain way.

You know, there just might be something to this whole Mayan prediction thing, especially if it gets us taking a second look at who we are and how we live our lives.

Live the life today you want to remembered for tomorrow. If you do, I predict good things in your future.

The Best Gift

Once again we find ourselves at the start of the gifting season. This year we had the opportunity to not only purchase great bargains on "Black Friday," but today's economy forces retailers to try new methods to attract consumers to make purchases. Thus we were enticed to start even earlier as some merchants geared up on Thanksgiving evening. Perhaps that was the start of a new shopping day: "Gray Thursday"?

But no matter when the stores open, we are still faced with the dilemma that has faced gift-givers down through the ages: how can one provide the best gift ever? Even though we are bombarded by TV commercials, and our mailboxes overflow with circulars and flyers -- all proclaiming the desirability of their featured products -- we still must make the final determination: what can I give to express my love and still provide something that is tasteful, practical, enduring and appreciated?

Gifting is challenging.

As you look over this year's list of recipients, you may find there are some on it that are easy. For example, there's the college-aged son who can use anything and everything, especially cash. There's the daughter who has her heart set on the latest electronic gadget all her friends have. There may be the thoughtful wife who puts her list on your dresser -- complete with stores and SKU numbers. If only all would be so easy.

But what about parents, friends, children and others you wish to give a special present to, yet you have no idea what would be the best gift?

Perhaps it would be wise to review the best gifts you have ever been given as a starting point. For example, one of the best gifts I ever received was two seats to a Yankee's game -- one for me and one for my dad. We spent an awesome day together. Another special gift I treasure was a shotgun from my wife, along with arrangements for a hunting trip with my friends. Each of these gifts involved more than an item received, it also included a built-in time with another person.

So when it comes down to it, perhaps the very best gift you can give those you love would be a way to share more than a carefully wrapped "thing." Try sharing something that includes giving yourself too.

Happy gift giving!

Say Hello

As we all know the calendar has become increasingly crowded with special days to commemorate this or that. Beyond the holidays honoring presidents, religious observances, military victories, ethnicities and civil causes, there are fun days like Valentine's Day, Halloween, Groundhog Day, and World Hello Day. That's right: World Hello Day. Founded as a day to make the world a friendlier place, November 21 is the day to dazzle that friend or co-worker by telling them hello. Now for those interested in promoting world peace and cross-cultural relations this could be done with an hola! a guten Tag! or an ahlan wasahlan! Then again, if Spanish, German or Arabic pronunciation worries have got you down, fear not! A simple "hullo" will do too.

Celebrated by people in more than 180 countries, World Hello Day began in 1973 in response to the Yom Kippur War between Israel and a coalition of Arab states. Its objective is simple: greet ten or more people on November 21. And the rationale driving this outlandish behavior? It's nothing less than the far-fetched notion that somehow personal, one-to-one communication is an important starting place for promoting world peace or -- if nothing else -- at least a little bit of goodwill. This annual day of smiles is the brainchild of brothers Brian and Michael McCormack, graduates, respectively, of Arizona State University and Harvard.

This simplest of gestures has been recognized by some pretty good company too. Thirty-one winners of the Nobel Peace Prize have acknowledged the value of World Hello Day, as an instrument for promoting peace and enhancing relationships between people everywhere. Now if you think about it, saying hello is not that big a deal, really. Yet, it's funny how a wave, a smile, even a nod cuts through our typical standoffishness like a knife through warm butter. Such is the power of this most basic of civilities that it seems to have a disarming quality about it. It's just a hello, but it's often a surprise to the person receiving it.

Cast a few out this Wednesday, and see what you get in return. You just might be surprised yourself.

Thank You

I watched her as she approached the door. With her youngest resting comfortably in the stroller, she pushed with one hand, her older daughter being reined in by her other hand. I waited and watched, as she calculated how to keep control of her children, while opening the door.

Then I stepped up. I swung the door wide and held it open. Her smile said it even before the words, "Thank you."

As I passed her in the aisle, I nodded a "you're welcome," and returned to my shopping. But her smile stayed with me: such a simple act was received with so much gratitude. I liked that.

Over the years I have been the recipient of unexpected kindnesses, so I can relate to her feeling of gratitude. I remember the time the mechanic checked out the engine, when the "Check Engine" light came on. He announced it was a loose gas cap: no worries, no charge. I recall the time the gate agent called me forward and asked if bumping me to first class would be all right, allowing a couple to travel together. I recall the time one driver stopped a line of traffic, so I could make a left-hand turn. This good deed allowed me to arrive at the hospital emergency room just as the ambulance crew wheeled her into an examination room. The "thank you" I spoke seemed so inadequate compared to the gratitude I felt, but it was all I had.

Sometimes we forget to thank those who offer an act of kindness to us. We do this without thinking; we simply forget. Perhaps we can seek out and thank those who offer us an act of kindness. Perhaps we can thank those whose profession it is to serve: the pastor, the teacher, the military person, the police officer, or the fireman. And then there are still others who offer a service to us -- the mail carrier, the bus driver, the company janitor, the store clerk, the DMV associate -- folks who often go unnoticed and unappreciated, doing their work for a public that often doesn't acknowledge the value of what they do.

I have tried to make a habit of thanking those who have offered me a word of kindness or concern, or who have given me the gift of their time, effort or service.

And thinking of that, allow me to thank you. You have given me the gift of time as you read this. It is appreciated.

Thank you also for all you're doing to be a model man in today's difficult world. It's a world where thank-yous may be in short supply, but that's the funny thing: when you do the right thing, it has a way of making you feel good anyway.