Years ago, when I was a young, naïve Christian teenager, I found myself in a lengthy discussion about faith with a non-Christian classmate. This particular classmate, who eventually became a very good friend, asked a lot of challenging questions about God, Jesus, and the Christian faith. By the end of the conversation, I came to the conclusion that he just thought too much to believe in the Christian faith.
Now the adult me asks, "Really? He thought too much?"
When I take an honest look at the Christian faith, the faith into which I was born and the faith into which I am now raising my children, there is an understanding that yes, it is a religious faith that takes a tremendous amount of belief. After all, to be a Christian is to believe that the historical man Jesus, a man revered by individuals from many different religious faiths, was not just a real man who lived and breathed and walked on earth, but God Himself.
For some, just believing that God exists is a stretch, and I get that—I really do. I also get how hard it is to add to that belief by saying that a historical figure is God in human form. After all, can't Christians just be happy believing Jesus was a good, wise man who said good things and taught us how to love each other and live our best possible life?
No.
Because I know a lot of good people.
I know a lot of wise people.
I know a lot of smart people.
And they may be really good people to know and have as friends, but I believe we humans need so much more.
After years of friendships and relationships with people of different faiths, I have matured in my understanding that thinking too much isn't the problem. The problem is in starting with the wrong questions and sometimes in seeking the wrong answers. As a teenager, I didn't know how to answer the questions I was asked because for the first time, I needed to challenge my own beliefs and search for hard answers.
For an individual of any faith, it is a scary odyssey because one never knows where they will end up. As one who loves reading almost anything and who is hungry for knowledge, it is also a daunting task. It is a task that has taken me through the Bible, Christian writers of different denominations, and non-Christian writers who challenge my view of the world, forcing me to question and defend beliefs I have accepted as true for my entire life. And 20 years later I'm back where I started, my feet firmly planted in the Christian faith, but this time with battle scars affirming my belief in Jesus Christ as God.
I know some people look at Christians as a group of gullible simpletons willing to believe in fairy tales, but some of the smartest, most well-read people I know are Christians, and yes, they believe that Jesus is God. Yes, they believe the Bible. And yes, they also believe in science and history.
Many of my fellow Christians don't believe in Jesus' divinity because they are willing to ignore everything else that they know and everything else that they have read. They believe it because to not believe it is to deny the power of God and the importance of God coming down to earth to save a world full of lost people.
Jesus left the glory of heaven to become a man. He experienced the physical, emotional, and mental pains of humanity before He sacrificed Himself on a cross. I can experience the struggles of my own life and look at Jesus and know that He gets it. I don't just have His sympathy; I have His empathy.
Jesus didn't just show us how to live and love, He showed us just how broken we are. He hung out with "sinners" because they were the ones most aware of their brokenness. Unlike the church leaders of the day, they were not looking for a political savior and affirmation that they were doing the right thing; they longed for Someone who would rescue them from themselves. And Jesus understood that brokenness because He also suffered intense emotional and physical pain. He listened to the pain of those around Him, healing the bodies and souls of those who reached out to Him for help.
But all of that is only significant if Jesus is God. All of that only matters if Jesus is something greater than my humanity. And all of that only matters for me—if I believe it.
Written by Sarah Styf
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Purpose
What is the point of all this? Why am I here?
This aspect of our humanity separates us from all other creatures. The answer to this deep, soul-searching quest is personal. No individual's journey is the same when they seek to work through their own reality and circumstances.
The answer, like most things in life, isn't simple or one-dimensional. We will always encounter another layer or level as we answer the complicated question, "Why am I here?"
In attempting to answer that question, Christians believe God holds not only a purpose for individuals, but an overarching purpose for humankind.
Created for Divine Relationship
Human beings have a profound need to be seen. To feel worthy and loved. We crave relationships. God craves relationships, too. Understanding God's eagerness for a relationship with humanity brings peace to a Christian's restless heart.
The first layer in understanding a Christian's view on purpose is knowing the creation story. The first pages of the Bible provide a detailed account of how God designed the earth and everything in it. Within that story, you will find a holy God—who holds all power and knowledge-and desires a relationship with His created people (see Genesis 1:1-2; 1 Samuel 12:22).
Because God wants us here, we can view our existence—all its joy and suffering—through a lens of purpose.
God spoke every created thing, living and nonliving, into existence ... except humans. To create humans, He formed them from the ground. He brought them to life by breathing His own breath into them. He gave them responsibility—a job—to tend the land. God gave humans free will and the freedom to choose a relationship with their Creator (see Genesis 1:26-30).
Without choice, a man-to-God relationship would be based in control, manipulation, mistrust, or fear. God's desire for humans to choose Him indicates He places value on those humans. In other words, He wants them to want Him. He created mankind with a purpose in mind, the highest of which is friendship with Him (see Genesis 2:9; Genesis 3:8).
What is MY purpose?
Why am I here? What should I do with my life?
Those questions can paralyze people. The questions seem so large, so intimidating, they blind us to the simplest, most obvious manifestations of purpose in our lives.
Accepting where you are and what you have is one step toward discovering your purpose. That may sound trivial, but it is revolutionary. Great truth rests in tackling our mundane, daily tasks. It involves accepting the gift of each moment, knowing we might not be given another, and making the most of it.
Humans are not only unique from the rest of creation—they are unique from each other. Each human body contains a distinctive combination of DNA. An individual's genetics, background and experiences blend together, resulting in a set of skills, talents, strengths, weaknesses, and insights that do not match the set of any other individual. And that set is necessary for humankind. If one person doesn't carry out their purpose, their role will go either unfulfilled, or unfulfilled in the unique way they could do it.
How do you find the life purposes that are unique to you? There is no single answer, but God gives us a plethora of clues:
 Roles/Stations: Any role we fill in which we're responsible to someone or for something, and where our role doesn't by its nature require disobeying God, this is a calling from God. It's not about what we're responsible to do for God, but what God is doing through us.
 Gifts/Talents: God gives all of us different gifts—both "spiritual" gifts for building up God's church and kingdom, and "created" gifts for contributing to the temporal world. Our gifts and talents give us a sense of how God wants us to help others.
 God gives us all manner of resources in different proportions—material resources, financial resources, influence, time, knowledge, etc. He wants us to be generous with our resources, whatever form they may take (see 2 Corinthians 9:6-11).
 Passions/Desires: This one is trickier because passions and desires can come from God, or from the evil inside us, or they can come from a combination of sources, making it difficult to determine the good. But it is a misconception that Christians are supposed to let all of their desires die. Desire can be corrupt, but it can also be very good. God is very interested in our desires: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). He also knows they have tremendous power to motivate us—no doubt he built us with desires so they would do just that.
 Opportunities: We believe God continues to be intimately involved in the details of how every earthly circumstance happens and turns out (see Romans 8:28; Luke 12:6-7). If God gives you an opportunity to do something good, it was on purpose.
 Needs: Compassion is feeling someone else's distress at a gut-level and thereby being compelled to act. The Holy Spirit nurtures compassion inside people of Christian faith. This word describes much of Jesus' action toward us. He gives us compassion, so we respond to needs as well. In a sense, a human need is a call from God.
Cohesive Independence
Talk of individuality raises the matter of independence. As Christians, we are to take care of ourselves and bear individual responsibility for our actions. We are to develop our skills and talents.
However, bloated individuality results in selfishness, the philosophy that "me" comes before "we." Christians believe that if our lives become exclusively about us—my comfort, my longings, my love, my truth—then we have stepped outside of God's original plan. Instead of functioning as one human race, we become isolated and alone. We can also lose our sense of purpose.
In God's plan, the question "What do I want to do with my life?" becomes "How can I use my unique skill and background to help others in this situation?"
Using the human body as an example once again, when one member of the body falls ill, other members produce and deliver white blood cells to bring the body back to wholeness. When one member does not function to benefit the body, the whole body grows weaker.
When we consider that our individual purpose should also edify life and humanity, our trajectory is altered.
How Suffering Can Enhance Purpose
Living with purpose has its challenges. What happens when life doesn't unfold as we anticipate or plan? When tragedy or hurt interrupts progress? When cancer steals dreams? When loved ones die? When an accident takes or dramatically hinders our physical abilities?
Sometimes, it's more acute—such as when others appear to have joy and life, while we dwell in a dark haze of depression or anxiety.
When it comes to suffering, Christians find comfort that Jesus—God—knows our pain and factors it into the bigger picture. We do not view ourselves as alone when we suffer. Our suffering is evidence of why we claim to need a Savior in the first place. It becomes a point of reference rather than a blemish. Because Christians believe God uses our struggles as a training ground to cement our purpose, it helps provide a "why" as we pursue the "how" (see Hebrews 2:9-10; 2:18; 5:8; John 16:33).
All great stories of redemption, reconciliation, or healing include deep scars. Christians do not desire struggle, but our trust in God helps us endure it.
The Big Picture
Viewing life through lenses of love and hope gives Christians a sense of purpose. That purpose is rooted in a relationship with God and built on our inherent value to Him. That awareness sets us free to pursue individuality based on service to others. We live our lives as members of a larger body, seeking to contribute to the greater good, even amid life's struggles.
Written by Team THRED
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
This aspect of our humanity separates us from all other creatures. The answer to this deep, soul-searching quest is personal. No individual's journey is the same when they seek to work through their own reality and circumstances.
The answer, like most things in life, isn't simple or one-dimensional. We will always encounter another layer or level as we answer the complicated question, "Why am I here?"
In attempting to answer that question, Christians believe God holds not only a purpose for individuals, but an overarching purpose for humankind.
Created for Divine Relationship
Human beings have a profound need to be seen. To feel worthy and loved. We crave relationships. God craves relationships, too. Understanding God's eagerness for a relationship with humanity brings peace to a Christian's restless heart.
The first layer in understanding a Christian's view on purpose is knowing the creation story. The first pages of the Bible provide a detailed account of how God designed the earth and everything in it. Within that story, you will find a holy God—who holds all power and knowledge-and desires a relationship with His created people (see Genesis 1:1-2; 1 Samuel 12:22).
Because God wants us here, we can view our existence—all its joy and suffering—through a lens of purpose.
God spoke every created thing, living and nonliving, into existence ... except humans. To create humans, He formed them from the ground. He brought them to life by breathing His own breath into them. He gave them responsibility—a job—to tend the land. God gave humans free will and the freedom to choose a relationship with their Creator (see Genesis 1:26-30).
Without choice, a man-to-God relationship would be based in control, manipulation, mistrust, or fear. God's desire for humans to choose Him indicates He places value on those humans. In other words, He wants them to want Him. He created mankind with a purpose in mind, the highest of which is friendship with Him (see Genesis 2:9; Genesis 3:8).
What is MY purpose?
Why am I here? What should I do with my life?
Those questions can paralyze people. The questions seem so large, so intimidating, they blind us to the simplest, most obvious manifestations of purpose in our lives.
Accepting where you are and what you have is one step toward discovering your purpose. That may sound trivial, but it is revolutionary. Great truth rests in tackling our mundane, daily tasks. It involves accepting the gift of each moment, knowing we might not be given another, and making the most of it.
Humans are not only unique from the rest of creation—they are unique from each other. Each human body contains a distinctive combination of DNA. An individual's genetics, background and experiences blend together, resulting in a set of skills, talents, strengths, weaknesses, and insights that do not match the set of any other individual. And that set is necessary for humankind. If one person doesn't carry out their purpose, their role will go either unfulfilled, or unfulfilled in the unique way they could do it.
How do you find the life purposes that are unique to you? There is no single answer, but God gives us a plethora of clues:
 Roles/Stations: Any role we fill in which we're responsible to someone or for something, and where our role doesn't by its nature require disobeying God, this is a calling from God. It's not about what we're responsible to do for God, but what God is doing through us.
 Gifts/Talents: God gives all of us different gifts—both "spiritual" gifts for building up God's church and kingdom, and "created" gifts for contributing to the temporal world. Our gifts and talents give us a sense of how God wants us to help others.
 God gives us all manner of resources in different proportions—material resources, financial resources, influence, time, knowledge, etc. He wants us to be generous with our resources, whatever form they may take (see 2 Corinthians 9:6-11).
 Passions/Desires: This one is trickier because passions and desires can come from God, or from the evil inside us, or they can come from a combination of sources, making it difficult to determine the good. But it is a misconception that Christians are supposed to let all of their desires die. Desire can be corrupt, but it can also be very good. God is very interested in our desires: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). He also knows they have tremendous power to motivate us—no doubt he built us with desires so they would do just that.
 Opportunities: We believe God continues to be intimately involved in the details of how every earthly circumstance happens and turns out (see Romans 8:28; Luke 12:6-7). If God gives you an opportunity to do something good, it was on purpose.
 Needs: Compassion is feeling someone else's distress at a gut-level and thereby being compelled to act. The Holy Spirit nurtures compassion inside people of Christian faith. This word describes much of Jesus' action toward us. He gives us compassion, so we respond to needs as well. In a sense, a human need is a call from God.
Cohesive Independence
Talk of individuality raises the matter of independence. As Christians, we are to take care of ourselves and bear individual responsibility for our actions. We are to develop our skills and talents.
However, bloated individuality results in selfishness, the philosophy that "me" comes before "we." Christians believe that if our lives become exclusively about us—my comfort, my longings, my love, my truth—then we have stepped outside of God's original plan. Instead of functioning as one human race, we become isolated and alone. We can also lose our sense of purpose.
In God's plan, the question "What do I want to do with my life?" becomes "How can I use my unique skill and background to help others in this situation?"
Using the human body as an example once again, when one member of the body falls ill, other members produce and deliver white blood cells to bring the body back to wholeness. When one member does not function to benefit the body, the whole body grows weaker.
When we consider that our individual purpose should also edify life and humanity, our trajectory is altered.
How Suffering Can Enhance Purpose
Living with purpose has its challenges. What happens when life doesn't unfold as we anticipate or plan? When tragedy or hurt interrupts progress? When cancer steals dreams? When loved ones die? When an accident takes or dramatically hinders our physical abilities?
Sometimes, it's more acute—such as when others appear to have joy and life, while we dwell in a dark haze of depression or anxiety.
When it comes to suffering, Christians find comfort that Jesus—God—knows our pain and factors it into the bigger picture. We do not view ourselves as alone when we suffer. Our suffering is evidence of why we claim to need a Savior in the first place. It becomes a point of reference rather than a blemish. Because Christians believe God uses our struggles as a training ground to cement our purpose, it helps provide a "why" as we pursue the "how" (see Hebrews 2:9-10; 2:18; 5:8; John 16:33).
All great stories of redemption, reconciliation, or healing include deep scars. Christians do not desire struggle, but our trust in God helps us endure it.
The Big Picture
Viewing life through lenses of love and hope gives Christians a sense of purpose. That purpose is rooted in a relationship with God and built on our inherent value to Him. That awareness sets us free to pursue individuality based on service to others. We live our lives as members of a larger body, seeking to contribute to the greater good, even amid life's struggles.
Written by Team THRED
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
I'm a Pastor, and I Need Counseling
I walked in and there she was. A college student from the church I serve. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't un-commit. I could have lied about why I was there, but that's not ethical (right?). I was caught red-handed—seeing my professional counselor.
For the last decade or so, I've seen a professional counselor off-and-on. Sometimes, it's been for no special reason. Other times, I'm in the midst of a crisis. Today, I go regularly to see my counselor, and I think everyone—pastor, plumber, or professional wrestler—should consider seeing a counselor (in fact, definitely the wrestlers ... because, seriously).
According to a University of Phoenix study from 2014, the majority of Americans (97%) believe mental health issues are at least somewhat of a serious problem in the U.S.
Further, almost two-thirds of Americans (62%) report that they have personally experienced mental health issues.
Despite financial barriers, lack of coverage, and social stigma, almost half of the 43.6 million American adults (44.7%) who experienced a mental illness in the past year received mental health care, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
The number of people seeking professional counseling for their mental health issues is on the rise. That's encouraging.
And yet, many professional caregivers—such as pastors, social workers, and others involved in counseling and caring for others in times of crisis—avoid professional counseling. Despite high levels of stress, the prevalence of burnout, and the need for self-care, many caregivers do not enlist professional help. They do not seek a safe place where they can process and receive input from a professional counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
I get it. The social stigma can be tough, the costs can be prohibitive, and the fear of running into someone you know at the office can turn you off to the idea quite quickly. But hear me out. There are both push and pull factors that put me in my counselor's chair frequently.
Here are mine:
1) Fear of Burnout—stress is a normal, and necessary, part of anyone's life. Burnout—a stress-related emotional collapse or breakdown that can result in chronic stress—should not exist. And yet, many pastors and other caregivers burn out all the time. I've been there, and I haven't even been at this "pastor" thing for very long.
If you're regularly exhausted, feeling like you don't want to get out of bed to face the day, dreading that upcoming meeting, or wondering whether or not this job is for you, I believe you should consider seeking out someone safe to talk to about it. Your family, your church, your community, and your soul will thank you for it.
2) Catharsis and Counsel—I've got issues. I'm pretty sure you do, too. That professional wrestler we both know does. We all need a place, or a person, where we can dump the feelings of resentment, anger, disappointment, failure, insecurity, inadequacy, and loneliness we feel in the course of our life and career. Dumping them on the wrong person can cause us, and countless others, untold anguish.
For this, a counselor is perfect. Counselors are trained to take the venting, to engage in role-playing, or help us grow as we share our vexations. Our drinking buddies, stuffed animals, and the steering wheel of our car are not.
3) Learning Empathy and Best Practices—beyond the personal benefits of seeing a counselor, there are also professional advantages. Sitting on the other side of counseling gives pastors, and other caregivers, an opportunity to see what it's like to sit "on the other side of the room." As I feel those sensations of anxiety, insecurity, and of being lost, I can take that understanding into the next meeting I have with someone who's bringing me their cares. Not only that, but I learn from my counselor tips and best practices that make me a better pastoral counselor and friend to the people I love in my life.
For these reasons and more, I think it's a great idea for pastors to not only provide counseling to those they care for, but to care for themselves and seek out professional counseling themselves.
Written by Ken Chitwood
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
For the last decade or so, I've seen a professional counselor off-and-on. Sometimes, it's been for no special reason. Other times, I'm in the midst of a crisis. Today, I go regularly to see my counselor, and I think everyone—pastor, plumber, or professional wrestler—should consider seeing a counselor (in fact, definitely the wrestlers ... because, seriously).
According to a University of Phoenix study from 2014, the majority of Americans (97%) believe mental health issues are at least somewhat of a serious problem in the U.S.
Further, almost two-thirds of Americans (62%) report that they have personally experienced mental health issues.
Despite financial barriers, lack of coverage, and social stigma, almost half of the 43.6 million American adults (44.7%) who experienced a mental illness in the past year received mental health care, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
The number of people seeking professional counseling for their mental health issues is on the rise. That's encouraging.
And yet, many professional caregivers—such as pastors, social workers, and others involved in counseling and caring for others in times of crisis—avoid professional counseling. Despite high levels of stress, the prevalence of burnout, and the need for self-care, many caregivers do not enlist professional help. They do not seek a safe place where they can process and receive input from a professional counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
I get it. The social stigma can be tough, the costs can be prohibitive, and the fear of running into someone you know at the office can turn you off to the idea quite quickly. But hear me out. There are both push and pull factors that put me in my counselor's chair frequently.
Here are mine:
1) Fear of Burnout—stress is a normal, and necessary, part of anyone's life. Burnout—a stress-related emotional collapse or breakdown that can result in chronic stress—should not exist. And yet, many pastors and other caregivers burn out all the time. I've been there, and I haven't even been at this "pastor" thing for very long.
If you're regularly exhausted, feeling like you don't want to get out of bed to face the day, dreading that upcoming meeting, or wondering whether or not this job is for you, I believe you should consider seeking out someone safe to talk to about it. Your family, your church, your community, and your soul will thank you for it.
2) Catharsis and Counsel—I've got issues. I'm pretty sure you do, too. That professional wrestler we both know does. We all need a place, or a person, where we can dump the feelings of resentment, anger, disappointment, failure, insecurity, inadequacy, and loneliness we feel in the course of our life and career. Dumping them on the wrong person can cause us, and countless others, untold anguish.
For this, a counselor is perfect. Counselors are trained to take the venting, to engage in role-playing, or help us grow as we share our vexations. Our drinking buddies, stuffed animals, and the steering wheel of our car are not.
3) Learning Empathy and Best Practices—beyond the personal benefits of seeing a counselor, there are also professional advantages. Sitting on the other side of counseling gives pastors, and other caregivers, an opportunity to see what it's like to sit "on the other side of the room." As I feel those sensations of anxiety, insecurity, and of being lost, I can take that understanding into the next meeting I have with someone who's bringing me their cares. Not only that, but I learn from my counselor tips and best practices that make me a better pastoral counselor and friend to the people I love in my life.
For these reasons and more, I think it's a great idea for pastors to not only provide counseling to those they care for, but to care for themselves and seek out professional counseling themselves.
Written by Ken Chitwood
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Loneliness
Loneliness is an odd thing. We all recognize it when it happens, and yet it's not that easy to get at what exactly it is, or how to prevent it. A person stuck at home because of illness or disability is likely to be lonely with very little human contact, but so is a mother or father of young children who spends the whole day with under-fives and can't even get enough privacy to go to the toilet alone!
Being Alone?
Clearly loneliness isn't the same thing as solitude. It's possible for some people to spend days or weeks alone (maybe camping in the Sierras?) and not feel lonely for a single moment. I'm one of those people. And yet some of my loneliest times have been in rooms where there are at least a hundred other people within earshot, all milling around and drinking coffee together.
So in loneliness, something else is going on besides lack of human contact—though that happens, too. The Bible tells us that in the beginning, God looked at the first human being He created and decided it wasn't good for that person to be all alone. But before God fixed that situation (by creating another person!) God drove that point home by having the first one look all through the animal creation, getting to know everything, until it was clear there was nothing and no one comparable out there. Poor Adam! No amount of aardvarks or amoebas was going to cut it for him. He must have really appreciated it by the time he met Eve!
I Want Social Input
What did Eve, the second human, bring to the situation? She brought human "input," if I can call it that, into Adam's life. And that's something we all need to avoid loneliness. Have you ever noticed how some people go home to an empty house and immediately turn on the TV, even though they have no intention of watching it, and they're not even in the same room? They want, they need the background noise, the sound of human voices. Others are continually on the Internet, getting their fix of humanity through Twitter or Facebook or texting. Human input seems to be a non-negotiable for pretty much everybody, even if the amount needed varies from person to person.
But Eve brought more than that when she came along. By being there, she insured that there was someone in Adam's life who had some concern for him—who noticed his existence and was interested in it—who was able to provide the "give" as well as the "take" of human interaction. I think this is where the parents of small children get their loneliness from. There's no shortage of human interaction when you've got a baby wailing every time you set him down, and constantly wanting to be fed or changed or soothed or put to sleep. And yet that baby is pretty much all about the "taking," with almost no giving. It's natural at that age. But it contributes to a unique kind of loneliness—the loneliness of the caregiver who nevertheless is not seen as a fellow human being with needs and wants of his or her own. No wonder parents long to spend time with other adults!
I Need Social Output
But other kinds of loneliness might be even more common. Consider the loneliness of a person who is always on the receiving end—whether that's because of sickness or disability or age or simple isolation. A hospital bed can be a very lonely place, in spite of all the professionals (and even visitors!) interested in your welfare. A person who's going through major crisis—whether it's financial or emotional or family or health-related—that person can feel pretty lonely, too, even as everyone else is trying to help. These are situations where human interaction is all "take" and no "give"—like a lake where there's constant inflow, but no outflow. It seems that the imbalance leads to loneliness. And this might be why the old-fashioned advice for lonely people is for them to get involved in some sort of activity or service project—because it will "take you out of yourself." It seems that being completely "in yourself" is a lonely place to be.
Dealing with Loneliness
So what if it's you? How can you cope with loneliness? There's no one-size-fits-all answer, as no doubt you know already. This article isn't going to solve all your problems (though I wish it did!). And much as I'd like to, I can't say something facile like "Go to church and you'll never be lonely again." Because that's baloney. Some of my loneliest times have been in church.
But you might want to consider the whole social inflow/outflow problem as it relates to your own life. Do you have contact with people who care about you and want to know how you are doing? If not, what can you do to get that contact? Taking a class, getting involved in an activity where you meet the same people again and again, even (yes!) going to church can help. Affection and even friendship tend to grow over time between people who see the same folks again and again and again—even when those people are the complete opposite of soulmates.
What about your outflow—are you doing anything to impact other people's lives for good? If not, consider some sort of service activity. (Doing a Men's NetWork GIVES BACK event this year between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day is one way to make this happen. See the article in this issue!) Believe me, people will notice and miss you immediately if you are the one who normally delivers a meal/calls a shut-in/tutors a child and suddenly you're absent one week. But even aside from that, the simple act of being effective in the larger world tends to cut down loneliness. Grandma was right—it "takes you out of yourself."
Certainly this isn't going to prevent any and all lonely feelings from now to forever, not for you and not for me. And if we've got other problems going on, like job or relationship issues, those things are going to just add to the loneliness. But if God is as aware of our lives and as caring as Christianity says He is, we can look to Him for help. Because He knows what it means to be lonely. Jesus experienced it many times. And He wants the best for us.
Written by the THRED team
What do you do to get around being lonely? If you notice or sense someone else is lonely, do you make an effort to give them some companionship? Do you have any examples you can share?
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Being Alone?
Clearly loneliness isn't the same thing as solitude. It's possible for some people to spend days or weeks alone (maybe camping in the Sierras?) and not feel lonely for a single moment. I'm one of those people. And yet some of my loneliest times have been in rooms where there are at least a hundred other people within earshot, all milling around and drinking coffee together.
So in loneliness, something else is going on besides lack of human contact—though that happens, too. The Bible tells us that in the beginning, God looked at the first human being He created and decided it wasn't good for that person to be all alone. But before God fixed that situation (by creating another person!) God drove that point home by having the first one look all through the animal creation, getting to know everything, until it was clear there was nothing and no one comparable out there. Poor Adam! No amount of aardvarks or amoebas was going to cut it for him. He must have really appreciated it by the time he met Eve!
I Want Social Input
What did Eve, the second human, bring to the situation? She brought human "input," if I can call it that, into Adam's life. And that's something we all need to avoid loneliness. Have you ever noticed how some people go home to an empty house and immediately turn on the TV, even though they have no intention of watching it, and they're not even in the same room? They want, they need the background noise, the sound of human voices. Others are continually on the Internet, getting their fix of humanity through Twitter or Facebook or texting. Human input seems to be a non-negotiable for pretty much everybody, even if the amount needed varies from person to person.
But Eve brought more than that when she came along. By being there, she insured that there was someone in Adam's life who had some concern for him—who noticed his existence and was interested in it—who was able to provide the "give" as well as the "take" of human interaction. I think this is where the parents of small children get their loneliness from. There's no shortage of human interaction when you've got a baby wailing every time you set him down, and constantly wanting to be fed or changed or soothed or put to sleep. And yet that baby is pretty much all about the "taking," with almost no giving. It's natural at that age. But it contributes to a unique kind of loneliness—the loneliness of the caregiver who nevertheless is not seen as a fellow human being with needs and wants of his or her own. No wonder parents long to spend time with other adults!
I Need Social Output
But other kinds of loneliness might be even more common. Consider the loneliness of a person who is always on the receiving end—whether that's because of sickness or disability or age or simple isolation. A hospital bed can be a very lonely place, in spite of all the professionals (and even visitors!) interested in your welfare. A person who's going through major crisis—whether it's financial or emotional or family or health-related—that person can feel pretty lonely, too, even as everyone else is trying to help. These are situations where human interaction is all "take" and no "give"—like a lake where there's constant inflow, but no outflow. It seems that the imbalance leads to loneliness. And this might be why the old-fashioned advice for lonely people is for them to get involved in some sort of activity or service project—because it will "take you out of yourself." It seems that being completely "in yourself" is a lonely place to be.
Dealing with Loneliness
So what if it's you? How can you cope with loneliness? There's no one-size-fits-all answer, as no doubt you know already. This article isn't going to solve all your problems (though I wish it did!). And much as I'd like to, I can't say something facile like "Go to church and you'll never be lonely again." Because that's baloney. Some of my loneliest times have been in church.
But you might want to consider the whole social inflow/outflow problem as it relates to your own life. Do you have contact with people who care about you and want to know how you are doing? If not, what can you do to get that contact? Taking a class, getting involved in an activity where you meet the same people again and again, even (yes!) going to church can help. Affection and even friendship tend to grow over time between people who see the same folks again and again and again—even when those people are the complete opposite of soulmates.
What about your outflow—are you doing anything to impact other people's lives for good? If not, consider some sort of service activity. (Doing a Men's NetWork GIVES BACK event this year between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day is one way to make this happen. See the article in this issue!) Believe me, people will notice and miss you immediately if you are the one who normally delivers a meal/calls a shut-in/tutors a child and suddenly you're absent one week. But even aside from that, the simple act of being effective in the larger world tends to cut down loneliness. Grandma was right—it "takes you out of yourself."
Certainly this isn't going to prevent any and all lonely feelings from now to forever, not for you and not for me. And if we've got other problems going on, like job or relationship issues, those things are going to just add to the loneliness. But if God is as aware of our lives and as caring as Christianity says He is, we can look to Him for help. Because He knows what it means to be lonely. Jesus experienced it many times. And He wants the best for us.
Written by the THRED team
What do you do to get around being lonely? If you notice or sense someone else is lonely, do you make an effort to give them some companionship? Do you have any examples you can share?
You can let us know what you think about this by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
The Discomfort with Dismantling
A few years ago, my husband and I began exploring the possibility of moving into a new home. Having done a bit of research, we identified neighborhoods and entered our preferences into an online search bar, along with our price limits. We were disappointed by how few homes met our qualifications, but were excited to find a single, promising, slightly suspicious possibility: a spacious home, in a top-notch school district, priced inexplicably lower than comparable properties.
We planned a visit and considered all the possible explanations for this anomaly, but could not have anticipated what we found. The house was lovely: nice curb appeal, modern updates, and convenient amenities. Yet it took only 30 seconds and a walk across the front room for me to see it ... or rather, feel it. The house was crooked.
"The Magical Leaning House," I quickly named it as I began to observe how everything in the house was, not so subtly, pitched to one side. Now, having been familiar with the "settling" that can occur in older homes, it was not the leaning phenomenon that fascinated me most. Rather, I was baffled by how intentionally the previous owner had embraced this characteristic. The window frames were custom-made rhombuses, made to perfectly fit the off-kilter openings. The wood trim and molding was custom cut at precise angles to adjust for the tricky way the corners came together. Everything was modified to embrace the imbalance.
Yet a visit to the lower level revealed evidence of numerous attempts to seal and fill cracks in the basement floor. It was simultaneously impressive and troubling. I could not imagine why someone would go to such great lengths to aesthetically and superficially accommodate what was quite obviously a foundational issue.
Clearly, the owner did not tune in to home improvement reality television. There is something about making old things new and wrong things right that scratches a primal itch for viewers, including me. We can also all agree that there is no worse discovery for a new homeowner than learning there's a problem with the foundation. How badly we want for the renovation budget to be used for a beautiful new front porch, a clawfoot tub, or a custom kitchen island. But no matter the sacrifice, there is never a question—at least for the professionals—about what is actually the priority.
Whether the house needs to be hoisted up, reinforced, or even torn down, foundation work is backbreaking. It's time-consuming and often looks and feel destructive; torn-up landscaping, broken tiles, sledge-hammered concrete. It seems to halt all other progress. It costs.
But what is the alternative to foundation repair? I suppose it's "The Magical Leaning House." How problematic could it be to live in a house that leans? A rolling baseball and an uneven freshly-baked cake seem like small inconveniences in comparison to the colossal cost of breaking up and relaying a new foundation. Not so, say the experts. To the contrary, the longer a homeowner delays fixing the foundation, the more uneven it gets, the more damaged the structure of the house becomes, and the more will be required to repair it.
Many, at least publicly, agree that our United States was built on an uneven foundation. The land and everything on it was created to benefit some inhabitants more than others. Despite this history, and perhaps due to the great sacrifices and perseverance of individuals and groups, many attempts have been made to correct the injustices and assuage the legacy of our broken beginnings. But repairing broken foundations is colossal work, and it's become apparent to some (and remained painfully obvious to others) that the work that's been done is much like that in "The Magical Leaning House"—several crack repairs, but mostly aesthetic and superficial modifications to distract us from a structure that actually continues to be unstable and imbalanced.
For a great many, the unwillingness to deal with the foundational work has been intentional and self-serving. Their lives have been spent ordering custom rhombus windows and cutting precise angles so that all appears tidy and purposeful. It may seem that they benefit from this particular pitch, but they fail to realize that our collective dwelling is still rapidly sinking.
For others, "The Magical Leaning House" has become home. These residents have lived so long on an incline that it now feels mostly comfortable as their bodies and gaits have redistributed and modified to adjust to this constant state. For them, it no longer feels like a lean, but feels normal—even right. Not only would foundation repair be loud and disruptive to their environment, but it would create discomfort for their own physical bodies. So without clear knowledge of impending structural failure, foundation work feels not only unnecessary but detrimental.
Yet there are still others who, through personal investigation or the intervention of a visiting neighbor, have begun see the tilt and identify it as destructive. They lean closer, even as they wince at the reality that it is, indeed, worse than they thought. They seek input, get opinions, ask questions, do research. The closer they look, the more problems they find. The renovation budget seems to climb to insurmountable heights. They are regularly tempted to simply deal with the superficial, order custom windows, and get back to the joy of picking accent colors. But they have seen the truth and cannot unsee it, and the only lasting satisfaction they can now have is in pushing up their sleeves, grabbing a hard hat and a sledgehammer, and asking the foreman how they can help demo.
The institutions of our time are the houses we live in and the structures we build upon. May we not settle for the cheap praise that comes with fresh coats of paint and new wall art, but look closer and dig deeper to identify the brokenness that has kept us perpetually off-kilter. Let us lean into the discomfort of dismantling the systems that compromise our collective ability to flourish. The work will be far from easy, but there is no doubt that it will be worth it. The greatest peace and satisfaction will be most palpably experienced by those who have seen the foundation's crumbling condition, recognized the past and potential harm, but sacrificed control and comfort to ensure lasting security to all who pass through its doors.
Join in. There's enough work for all of us.
Written by Sabrine Rhodes
How is it where you live? What are the things that can be done to uplift and fortify your neighborhood and community? How can we see to it that compromised foundations (both local and national) are addressed rather than ignored and built over?
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
We planned a visit and considered all the possible explanations for this anomaly, but could not have anticipated what we found. The house was lovely: nice curb appeal, modern updates, and convenient amenities. Yet it took only 30 seconds and a walk across the front room for me to see it ... or rather, feel it. The house was crooked.
"The Magical Leaning House," I quickly named it as I began to observe how everything in the house was, not so subtly, pitched to one side. Now, having been familiar with the "settling" that can occur in older homes, it was not the leaning phenomenon that fascinated me most. Rather, I was baffled by how intentionally the previous owner had embraced this characteristic. The window frames were custom-made rhombuses, made to perfectly fit the off-kilter openings. The wood trim and molding was custom cut at precise angles to adjust for the tricky way the corners came together. Everything was modified to embrace the imbalance.
Yet a visit to the lower level revealed evidence of numerous attempts to seal and fill cracks in the basement floor. It was simultaneously impressive and troubling. I could not imagine why someone would go to such great lengths to aesthetically and superficially accommodate what was quite obviously a foundational issue.
Clearly, the owner did not tune in to home improvement reality television. There is something about making old things new and wrong things right that scratches a primal itch for viewers, including me. We can also all agree that there is no worse discovery for a new homeowner than learning there's a problem with the foundation. How badly we want for the renovation budget to be used for a beautiful new front porch, a clawfoot tub, or a custom kitchen island. But no matter the sacrifice, there is never a question—at least for the professionals—about what is actually the priority.
Whether the house needs to be hoisted up, reinforced, or even torn down, foundation work is backbreaking. It's time-consuming and often looks and feel destructive; torn-up landscaping, broken tiles, sledge-hammered concrete. It seems to halt all other progress. It costs.
But what is the alternative to foundation repair? I suppose it's "The Magical Leaning House." How problematic could it be to live in a house that leans? A rolling baseball and an uneven freshly-baked cake seem like small inconveniences in comparison to the colossal cost of breaking up and relaying a new foundation. Not so, say the experts. To the contrary, the longer a homeowner delays fixing the foundation, the more uneven it gets, the more damaged the structure of the house becomes, and the more will be required to repair it.
Many, at least publicly, agree that our United States was built on an uneven foundation. The land and everything on it was created to benefit some inhabitants more than others. Despite this history, and perhaps due to the great sacrifices and perseverance of individuals and groups, many attempts have been made to correct the injustices and assuage the legacy of our broken beginnings. But repairing broken foundations is colossal work, and it's become apparent to some (and remained painfully obvious to others) that the work that's been done is much like that in "The Magical Leaning House"—several crack repairs, but mostly aesthetic and superficial modifications to distract us from a structure that actually continues to be unstable and imbalanced.
For a great many, the unwillingness to deal with the foundational work has been intentional and self-serving. Their lives have been spent ordering custom rhombus windows and cutting precise angles so that all appears tidy and purposeful. It may seem that they benefit from this particular pitch, but they fail to realize that our collective dwelling is still rapidly sinking.
For others, "The Magical Leaning House" has become home. These residents have lived so long on an incline that it now feels mostly comfortable as their bodies and gaits have redistributed and modified to adjust to this constant state. For them, it no longer feels like a lean, but feels normal—even right. Not only would foundation repair be loud and disruptive to their environment, but it would create discomfort for their own physical bodies. So without clear knowledge of impending structural failure, foundation work feels not only unnecessary but detrimental.
Yet there are still others who, through personal investigation or the intervention of a visiting neighbor, have begun see the tilt and identify it as destructive. They lean closer, even as they wince at the reality that it is, indeed, worse than they thought. They seek input, get opinions, ask questions, do research. The closer they look, the more problems they find. The renovation budget seems to climb to insurmountable heights. They are regularly tempted to simply deal with the superficial, order custom windows, and get back to the joy of picking accent colors. But they have seen the truth and cannot unsee it, and the only lasting satisfaction they can now have is in pushing up their sleeves, grabbing a hard hat and a sledgehammer, and asking the foreman how they can help demo.
The institutions of our time are the houses we live in and the structures we build upon. May we not settle for the cheap praise that comes with fresh coats of paint and new wall art, but look closer and dig deeper to identify the brokenness that has kept us perpetually off-kilter. Let us lean into the discomfort of dismantling the systems that compromise our collective ability to flourish. The work will be far from easy, but there is no doubt that it will be worth it. The greatest peace and satisfaction will be most palpably experienced by those who have seen the foundation's crumbling condition, recognized the past and potential harm, but sacrificed control and comfort to ensure lasting security to all who pass through its doors.
Join in. There's enough work for all of us.
Written by Sabrine Rhodes
How is it where you live? What are the things that can be done to uplift and fortify your neighborhood and community? How can we see to it that compromised foundations (both local and national) are addressed rather than ignored and built over?
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
Virtue
Honesty. Truthfulness. Purity. Kindness. Forgiveness. Courage. Humility. Peace. Obedience. Integrity. Faithfulness. Trustworthiness. Mercy. Compassion. Hope. Perseverance. Love. Forgiveness. Responsibility. Cheerfulness. Strength. Loyalty.
This is a partial list of what we refer to as virtues-that is, qualities that are good, desirable, and beautiful in people. Some of these virtues come from lists in the Bible. Others come from classical antiquity or from cultures around the world. It doesn't really matter-the human race seems to have general agreement on what it means to be truly good-to be the way God meant us to be.
These virtues are goals we aspire to-things we want to see in our own lives and in the lives of the people around us. And they shine all the more brightly in the world we live in now-a world where so many powerful leaders openly lie, cheat, steal, and grab for what they want, with no concern for the needs of those weaker than themselves. And they have many imitators-possibly including a boss, a neighbor, or even a family member you live with. In dark times, virtue shines brightly. They attract us to themselves.
The Bible understands this desire. The prophet Micah references the virtues when he says, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8) If we could actually do this-twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, without messing up-actually living as the whole, healthy people God means us to be-how awesome that would be? It would be wonderful.
But of course, we don't manage it-not all the time, and not whole-heartedly. Which is why Micah was talking about it in the first place-he was talking to people who lived in a society just as messed up as ours is. They abused the poor and grabbed for money; they lived lives of excess and conspicuous consumption. Amos described them as people who "sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals-those who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth" (Amos 2:6b-7a). Jesus described them as people "who devour widows' houses and for a pretense make long prayers" (Luke 20:47a). The details may have changed a bit, but the basic behavior remains-and not only in our leaders, but even at times in ourselves. Which of us does the right thing consistently-or even tries?
We need help. The virtues exist; we see them shining, sometimes, in people we admire, even in people we love and live with. We want to see them in ourselves. And for that, the Bible tells us, we need God's help. Trying harder can only take you so far. To really reach the goal God created us for-to be the people He means us to be-it takes God living in us, the Holy Spirit. As the early Christian leader Paul says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23a). These are the good things that God grows in everyone who trusts in Jesus Christ. It may take a long time-years, even a lifetime-as you doubtless know from watching Christians fail! But the virtues come in the end, because God is recreating people through His power so that they have a family resemblance to Jesus Himself. God will do this for anybody-anybody who really wants it and asks for it.
Written as a collaboration by THRED's in-house writing team
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
This is a partial list of what we refer to as virtues-that is, qualities that are good, desirable, and beautiful in people. Some of these virtues come from lists in the Bible. Others come from classical antiquity or from cultures around the world. It doesn't really matter-the human race seems to have general agreement on what it means to be truly good-to be the way God meant us to be.
These virtues are goals we aspire to-things we want to see in our own lives and in the lives of the people around us. And they shine all the more brightly in the world we live in now-a world where so many powerful leaders openly lie, cheat, steal, and grab for what they want, with no concern for the needs of those weaker than themselves. And they have many imitators-possibly including a boss, a neighbor, or even a family member you live with. In dark times, virtue shines brightly. They attract us to themselves.
The Bible understands this desire. The prophet Micah references the virtues when he says, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8) If we could actually do this-twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, without messing up-actually living as the whole, healthy people God means us to be-how awesome that would be? It would be wonderful.
But of course, we don't manage it-not all the time, and not whole-heartedly. Which is why Micah was talking about it in the first place-he was talking to people who lived in a society just as messed up as ours is. They abused the poor and grabbed for money; they lived lives of excess and conspicuous consumption. Amos described them as people who "sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals-those who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth" (Amos 2:6b-7a). Jesus described them as people "who devour widows' houses and for a pretense make long prayers" (Luke 20:47a). The details may have changed a bit, but the basic behavior remains-and not only in our leaders, but even at times in ourselves. Which of us does the right thing consistently-or even tries?
We need help. The virtues exist; we see them shining, sometimes, in people we admire, even in people we love and live with. We want to see them in ourselves. And for that, the Bible tells us, we need God's help. Trying harder can only take you so far. To really reach the goal God created us for-to be the people He means us to be-it takes God living in us, the Holy Spirit. As the early Christian leader Paul says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23a). These are the good things that God grows in everyone who trusts in Jesus Christ. It may take a long time-years, even a lifetime-as you doubtless know from watching Christians fail! But the virtues come in the end, because God is recreating people through His power so that they have a family resemblance to Jesus Himself. God will do this for anybody-anybody who really wants it and asks for it.
Written as a collaboration by THRED's in-house writing team
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Call Me Old-Fashioned
Call me old-fashioned, but I think technology is a little overrated. Yes, we can have pretty much anything we want delivered to us without even putting our pants on. Yes, we don't have to go through the hassle of making real friends when we can easily connect with people online. Yes, we don't even need to know where we're going before we get in the car.
But just because we have unlimited power at our fingertips, doesn't mean that we need to use it.
I learned this the hard way while spending an incredible ten days driving around southern Ireland with my fiancée.
Thanks to my stubborn (i.e. cheap) stance on not buying an international data plan, we were forced to navigate without the help of the internet.
Instead, we decided to rough it and use real a map.
What's a "real" map, you ask? Think Google Maps but analogue.
I know what you're thinking: "If this map you speak of is paper, then how does it update to let you know where you are?"
That's the beauty of it—it doesn't. No turn-by-turn directions. No continuous ETA. Just you, the open road, and a whole lot of confusion.
Confusion isn't always a bad thing. For us, it led to many surprising places and the occasional random adventure.
In our case, J.R.R. Tolkien's famous quote, "Not all those who wander are lost" couldn't have been further from the truth. We were both wandering and lost ... and it felt great.
Once we reached each city, we made it a habit to park the car and simply roam around until we came across a cafe or pub that tickled our fancy. Thanks to this (flying-by-the-seat-of-our-pants) strategy, we found hidden gems, met plenty of locals, and shared serendipitous conversations.
I can't think of a better way to spend your time.
Thanks to the brutal efficiency of Google Maps and other helpful technologies, we miss these fleeting opportunities every single day.
We're too busy with our heads down in our phones to realize life is passing us by.
In much the same way, I can't help but shun the invention of the audiobook.
I am one of the few remaining humans left who hasn't listened to one, and that's because I prefer its physical counterpart.
Call me old-fashioned, but I love the smell of a brand new book freshly off the shelf. I yearn for the feeling of accomplishment that comes with turning each crisp page. Heck, I even enjoy transforming mundane items such as receipts and coupons into useful bookmarks.
I'm not completely blind to the utility of e-books. As someone who listens to podcasts at 2x speed, I understand the convenience of "reading" while in the car or at work. We're all obsessed with productivity hacks and using multitasking as a misplaced badge of honor.
The thing is, I retain what I read much better when I actually read it. I want to build the magical world of Harry Potter for myself instead of having someone else do it for me, even if it is the insanely-talented Jim Dale (look him up, seriously).
Judging by these words, you may think I'm an old curmudgeon who despises technology. Quite the opposite—I'm just like any other millennial who's addicted to Instagram and spends most of his day behind a laptop.
My only issue with technology is that many of us rely on it to get by.
We have become crippled thanks to our dependence on technology to perform basic human functions like talking to others and finding our way from point A to point B.
Instead, we should be using it to enhance our lives, not run them.
What does this look like?
Using technology to amplify our ideas instead of our gossip. Talking with others who may not share our perspectives rather than publicly crucifying them. Embracing technology in order to learn and create instead of mindlessly consuming.
When used correctly, technology is an amazing way to take giant leaps forward.
That doesn't mean we don't need it to get started.
But hey, what do I know? I'm old-fashioned.
Written by William Frazier
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
But just because we have unlimited power at our fingertips, doesn't mean that we need to use it.
I learned this the hard way while spending an incredible ten days driving around southern Ireland with my fiancée.
Thanks to my stubborn (i.e. cheap) stance on not buying an international data plan, we were forced to navigate without the help of the internet.
Instead, we decided to rough it and use real a map.
What's a "real" map, you ask? Think Google Maps but analogue.
I know what you're thinking: "If this map you speak of is paper, then how does it update to let you know where you are?"
That's the beauty of it—it doesn't. No turn-by-turn directions. No continuous ETA. Just you, the open road, and a whole lot of confusion.
Confusion isn't always a bad thing. For us, it led to many surprising places and the occasional random adventure.
In our case, J.R.R. Tolkien's famous quote, "Not all those who wander are lost" couldn't have been further from the truth. We were both wandering and lost ... and it felt great.
Once we reached each city, we made it a habit to park the car and simply roam around until we came across a cafe or pub that tickled our fancy. Thanks to this (flying-by-the-seat-of-our-pants) strategy, we found hidden gems, met plenty of locals, and shared serendipitous conversations.
I can't think of a better way to spend your time.
Thanks to the brutal efficiency of Google Maps and other helpful technologies, we miss these fleeting opportunities every single day.
We're too busy with our heads down in our phones to realize life is passing us by.
In much the same way, I can't help but shun the invention of the audiobook.
I am one of the few remaining humans left who hasn't listened to one, and that's because I prefer its physical counterpart.
Call me old-fashioned, but I love the smell of a brand new book freshly off the shelf. I yearn for the feeling of accomplishment that comes with turning each crisp page. Heck, I even enjoy transforming mundane items such as receipts and coupons into useful bookmarks.
I'm not completely blind to the utility of e-books. As someone who listens to podcasts at 2x speed, I understand the convenience of "reading" while in the car or at work. We're all obsessed with productivity hacks and using multitasking as a misplaced badge of honor.
The thing is, I retain what I read much better when I actually read it. I want to build the magical world of Harry Potter for myself instead of having someone else do it for me, even if it is the insanely-talented Jim Dale (look him up, seriously).
Judging by these words, you may think I'm an old curmudgeon who despises technology. Quite the opposite—I'm just like any other millennial who's addicted to Instagram and spends most of his day behind a laptop.
My only issue with technology is that many of us rely on it to get by.
We have become crippled thanks to our dependence on technology to perform basic human functions like talking to others and finding our way from point A to point B.
Instead, we should be using it to enhance our lives, not run them.
What does this look like?
Using technology to amplify our ideas instead of our gossip. Talking with others who may not share our perspectives rather than publicly crucifying them. Embracing technology in order to learn and create instead of mindlessly consuming.
When used correctly, technology is an amazing way to take giant leaps forward.
That doesn't mean we don't need it to get started.
But hey, what do I know? I'm old-fashioned.
Written by William Frazier
You can let us know what you think by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
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