Guest Rant - Man and Church

Twenty-five years ago Jack Lemmon starred as Father Tim Farley, beloved priest and pastor of St. Francis parish, in the movie Mass Appeal. He was assigned a deacon, Mark Dolson, who questions the system, demands explanations, and sincerely wants the people of the parish to grow. The conflict is that Father Farley wants nothing more than to be liked by the people. He will go to great lengths to appease his congregation, heeding the words of one parishioner: "I don't want to be preached to."

Interaction between the beloved Father Farley and the hot-tempered Deacon Dolson is brought to a head when Mark confronts Father Farley saying, "Do we go to church to be told what we want to hear or are we there to hear God's Truth?" That was 25 years ago. Has anything changed?

It is my opinion we must strike a balance between the positions of Father Farley and Deacon Dolson. I believe we must stand firm on the Scripture as the unerring, eternal Word of God. There is only one God in three persons. We cannot save ourselves from hell, but Christ paid our price and we have the free gift of eternal life in heaven. Nothing we can say or do will save us. Our creeds and confessions drawn from Scripture must never be compromised. And the list goes on.

However, the way we proclaim these eternal truths, the methods we use, and the settings we are in should reflect the best way to reach today's society. I believe we can still preserve the sacred while using PowerPoint. We can recite the Apostles' Creed while we worship outdoors. We can praise God with a pipe organ or bagpipes, a dulcimer or a drum, a Psalm or a praise song. We can design a service that will be sensitive to male needs and limitations.

Men, it is time for us to take charge of the Church. Instead of complaining the Church is too feminine, we need to fill the pews, meeting halls, and parking lots, and demand a change. Instead of sleeping in, we need to be stepping out -- to church. Instead of sitting and letting women run the thing, we need to step up and reassume the leadership role we've abdicated. If we want the Church to be interested in us, we must be interested in Church. Who knows, perhaps if we strengthen the Church, we just might impact our community, our neighborhood, our world, and our families.

Men and Mentors

Ask a successful man the reason for his success and most likely he will point to another man who helped him along the way -- a "mentor" if you will. Captain James T. Kirk had Captain Christopher Pike, Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Robin had Batman. Cal Ripken, Jr. had his dad, George W. Bush had his dad, and I had my Dad. Bob Dylan had Woody Guthrie; Martin Luther had Johann von Staupitz, and Hugo Chavez had Fidel Castro.

While dads are not always that person, many times they are. My Dad is the one who taught, guided, and encouraged me. From lessons on throwing a baseball to running beside my bicycle, from driving a golf ball to driving a nail to driving a manual transmission, from tying a tie to drawing an inside straight, and from knowing when to run and when to fight -- that was my Dad. He's gone now but his lessons remain, and I can't remember the last day he didn't cross my mind.

Perhaps, for you, it wasn't your dad, but I suspect there was some other guy -- your own Mr. Miyagi, who was there for you. You know, like the karate teacher for Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid movies. These guys choose us. They see something in us we don't, and they fan into flame the spark inside. These guys help us navigate life; they are honest and accept no excuses for a second-rate effort. They judge impartially and somehow hold us accountable by pointing out weaknesses and errors. I suspect these guys get a great sense of satisfaction when their student surpasses them. These guys teach not only with their words, but also by example.

There are also those mentors who would be surprised to learn they mentored anyone at all. These mentors are the men we see and admire; we then pattern our life after their example. Often these mentors never even knew they were being observed, but they have a profound influence nonetheless. It's not unusual to combine the traits of men we have witnessed and roll them into our personalities, choosing characteristics we admire and making them ours. For example, I can admire the way my neighbor cares for his lawn, my co-worker plays golf, and how my barber interacts with his customers. I then do what I have seen.

Who was a mentor in your life? Was it your coach, your teacher, your friend, your neighbor, you dad, your boss, your brother, your pastor? Take the time now to e-mail, drop a line, text message, or call them. No gushing "thank you" is needed. Just say hi, and let them know that you remember them. They'll know why.

I also encourage you to be a mentor, especially to a young man in your church, your neighborhood, or your family circle who has no dad. Help him grow and hold him accountable; feed his self-esteem and challenge him to become a strong, confident man.

And here's a challenge that can make all the difference in the world: share Christ with the one you mentor. Teach him not only with your words, but also with your deeds. Live your life so others will want to model you. Be a strong man of Christ -- sinner, yet saint, not perfect, but forgiven -- depending on the grace of God for salvation and always filtering your actions through His Word.

Let's Talk Corruption

I just heard the federal government has a plan to tax the employer's share of my medical insurance payments. I also received word the Federal Emergency Management Agency redrew the maps of those requiring flood insurance -- moving my house from the "it will never flood" zone to the "pay lots of money to me" zone. My radio station wants me to write Congress so it won't pass the bill taxing radio stations. The national unemployment rate is headed north of 10 percent, and the current trade deficient is $29.2 billion. General Motors' stock is listed at $1 a share while Honda sells for $27.30.

On the state level, we follow corrupt governors as they're impeached, indicted, and imprisoned. Some states face either shutting down or raising taxes. I have even heard that some states are not processing state income tax refund checks until they get more money.

One wouldn't have to go too far from home to witness local graft and corruption. Police officers are accused of abusing their position; mayors are recalled, and local agencies take "fact-finding" missions to vacation resorts.

It is my opinion a root cause behind many of our woes -- economic, civil, and social -- comes down to one word: greed. Yep. It's just good, old-fashioned "I'm-gonna-get-everything-I-can-get" greed. Politicians figured out long ago they could get extra perks, loads of cash, or special considerations for passing certain bills or ignoring others. Lobbyists determined they could get money to influence government officials, workers strike for higher wages and lawyers sue for millions.

Meanwhile, the average Joe has to bear the brunt of everyone else's greed. The person at the bottom is stepped on by all. The person without a voice, who has no entitlement, and lacks the wherewithal to buy influence, ends up paying for the corruption caused by greed. But are we surprised at this? It's been the state of affairs for quite some time.

The Teacher writes to us in Ecclesiastes 5:8-9: "If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still. The increase from the land is taken by all; the king himself profits from the fields."

In other words, where there is money, there is corruption. Perhaps the time is now that we, as Christian males and voters, step up and speak out against corruption. Maybe we need to live within our means and demand our government officials do the same. Maybe it's time for the Church to take over some of the social programs the government uses as a way to line greedy pockets. I don't know -- just musing out loud I guess.

Independence Day

Soon our country will be immersed in Independence Day -- fireworks, hot dos, sparklers, ball games, firecrackers, and picnics. Over the top pyrotechnics and loads of food seem to be the American way to celebrate freedom from tyranny. Parades featuring marching bands, veteran units, and lots of tractors will remind us that we are a free, democratic nation. July 4 will be the day when we as a collective nation will salute our military, our police, our firefighters, and our emergency medical response units as heroes. These people are instrumental in the freedoms we enjoy -- freedom from oppression, freedom from fear, freedom from destruction, and freedom from sickness. Yes, I will celebrate with everyone else this July 4th.

But I am getting older, more cynical. I stand on the side of the parade route and witness no one standing with their hand over their heart in salute to the flag. I see people cherishing the free candy tossed from the fire truck more than the firefighters. I see politicians extending a hand of welcome, in one of the only times they would be caught accessible in public. I witness a lack of concern for society's freedoms replaced by the idol of individual freedom. I see crowds mesmerized by explosions in the sky then swearing at the other drivers on the way home. I see beer sales climb on a hot day at the ballpark, only to see drunken men cussing each other over the umpire's call. What a great way we have developed of commemorating and celebrating the sacrifice of our founding fathers -- get drunk, blow something up, and become selfish. Now that is independence! Okay, enough cynicism.

I do enjoy the July 4th holiday and all the traditions. I enjoy the fireworks, the ball games, the food, and even the crowds. For where else but in America can we throw a national party such as this? All across America we have a connection -- we have a history of creating a democratic country. We had been tried, tested, and tempted as a country. We have survived. We still live in the world's greatest country -- no matter what our opinions are of today's society.

So whether you grab a sparkler, pop a can of root beer, head to the ballpark, watch some mega fireworks display, or just toss back a cold one -- may you always be involved in making America the best it can be.

Happy July 4th! See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzL4L_FpLvE

Forgiveness

If there is ever a question striking fear into the heart of man, it's this: "Can you forgive me?"
What usually precedes the question is something that was hurtful, mean, uncaring, thoughtless, or just plain irksome.

For example, the wife comes home with a JCPenny bag filled with clothes -- blouses, skirts, etc. Just because the clothes in her closet are outdated, out of fashion, or tight doesn't mean she has a right to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes, does it? So, the husband, of course, points that out and, naturally, the wife is despondent and begins to get emotional. She says she'll take it all back; the husband tells her to keep it, and then someone ends up saying, "Can you forgive me?"

Or how about that call teenagers sometimes make: "Dad, I'm sorry. The car is totaled. I'm okay. Can you forgive me?" Dad says, "yes" -- all the time feeling guilty for being upset his car is totaled.

Then there are times of betrayal or a lack of trust: "I want a divorce!" "You're fired!" "I don't have confidence in you anymore." All these wreak havoc for a man. Then after a time, there may come the question: "Can you forgive me?"

And forgiveness can be a contingent thing, too. For some, it equates to permission giving. If I ask for forgiveness and you forgive me, it's okay. For some, forgiveness is forgetting. If I ask for forgiveness and you forgive me, you can never speak of the event again. For some, forgiveness is a tacit approval of future action. "Hey, I asked for forgiveness once, and you gave it to me. Why are you now hassling me about it again?"

Sometimes it's easier for a man to withhold forgiveness instead of trying to figure it what is meant. Sometimes a man has problems with forgiveness, since he himself often commits greater misdeeds. But that is not healthy.

We forgive because Christ forgives us. We follow His example. He paid the price for our sins. He instructs us to sin no more. He instructs us and reminds us of what forgiveness costs. He keeps on forgiving -- persistently forgiving. He offers His forgiveness freely and without any strings attached. It is a gift. Let us strive to forgive, even as Christ forgives us.

Trust Me

It seems the older I get, the more cynical I become. For example, if someone says to me, "Trust me," I probably won't. I wasn't always that way.

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher asked for and received my trust. When I was in grade school my parents asked for and received my trust. So when did I become cynical?

For me it was a long, slow process of having been taken advantage of, lied to, and conned. First I began to mistrust the government with corrupt, elected officials lining their pockets with my money. Then it was salespeople who offered great deals and delivered shoddy merchandise. Along the way, I met my share of people who would promise and not deliver. Self-absorption and self-promotion became the norm. The Internet allows people to misrepresent the truth, lie, and cheat. People everywhere are offered "make-thousands-of-dollars-at-home" schemes. E-mails blitz our in-boxes proclaiming us winners of a multi-million dollar lottery or asking us to launder a million-dollar inheritance.

The freefall of the auto industry, the dismal failure of financial institutions, and the imposed redistribution of wealth have me doubting anyone and everyone who wants to work for "my good" and the future. Even something as innocuous as the wise use of natural resources has me gritting my teeth wondering what agenda is being foisted on me and for whose gain. I do not trust. That is sad.

That being said, however, I must retract, at least on one count, my last words -- for I do trust. I trust in God. In a day when it is not popular or prudent to proclaim a trust or a faith in God, I do and I will. God is the constant, the very help in the day of trouble, the One who is with me always. He is the powerful Creator, the Sustainer of the Universe, and the One who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the power to overcome sin, Satan, and the world's headlong trip to hell. He has saved me and all believers. In Him, do I trust.

I will live my life confidant in His unchanging grace. I will ask no man to trust me, but live my days so all men can. I will beg no man to trust God, but live my life as an example of that trust. When I fail, I trust God and His promises. Jesus Christ can and does forgive, for it is not about me -- but always about Him.

A Friend in Need

Before "play dates," Mister Rogers and Barney, boys often made friends the old-fashion way --they'd meet, have a disagreement, fight with each other, brush the dust off from their "discussion" and become fast friends. I know it may not be politically correct to report that sort of friendship building nowadays, but that's the way it happened. These friends were and still are friends for life.

A friend is the person one could "hang with," get in trouble with, depend on, and would know -- without having to be told -- what was the matter. Boys growing up need at least one good friend -- someone who will not find fault in the clothes his mother makes him wear, someone who will choose him first for a teammate, someone who will stand shoulder to shoulder against perceived injustice, and someone who has no qualms about sharing a hot dog and coke.

A growing boy needs a friend, and a grown man needs a friend, too. A man needs another man to hang with, depend on, share problems, help move furniture, or just plain listen. No body understands the issues a man faces like another man, especially when that issue involves fun, family, and faith.

Guys do understand fun -- sports, bars, hunting, fishing, working on cars and, in general, anything involving risk, speed, and technology. A friend is someone that shares the passion, shares the activity, and shares the fun.

Guys try to understand family. However, relationships with wives, mothers, in-laws, children, and all the variations of family - remain -- for the most part, a mystery to men. A man needs another man to help him talk through and suggest tactics for dealing with the family -- if for no other reason than to have someone to blame when things go wrong.

Guys struggle to understand faith, too. Believing in Someone bigger than oneself, giving up control, confessing weakness -- these are not easy things. A man needs another man to help him see the Jesus of the Scriptures -- the powerful, all mighty Savior who is a Friend to all. A friend is a man who can share the greatest Friend one will ever have -- Jesus -- no matter what the circumstances.