Have you ever been in a restaurant when a customer doesn't get what they want, and they completely freak out? Are you sometimes that customer? It's certainly a tense and awkward situation when this happens. You're sitting there listening to the person yell that they ordered cheese on their burger, and somehow the meager slice they received just didn't cut the mustard.
As awkward as it can be, I'm never surprised. This is the culture we have set up for ourselves: "I have money. I want to spend it on what I want, and you must give it to me. And if you don't give me what I want, I have the right to act like a three-year-old who needs a nap."
It doesn't surprise me that this is the way we often treat prayer. And it's not limited to Christian prayer. I hear people from different walks of faith talk about sending out positive energy so they can get what they want. It's like a magical wish list. We add small things we think might be nice. Then we add grand things just in case God is feeling generous. Then we add things we actually want in the middle of all that. Then if God doesn't give us what we want, we get mad and wonder what's the use.
I've even seen something like this on a certain evangelist's website: post your prayer, and if two or more people like your post—and of course you have enough faith—then God will give you what you want. Sometimes you see people praying for a real need. They are praying for someone they love to be healed of cancer. Or they are praying to get a job and not become homeless. I even saw someone's request for more faith.
But in the middle of these heart-wrenching needs that you want to pray for, there are other prayers. You might find some disgruntled soul who no longer likes his Porsche and wants something better. Or they might want a house with a few more bedrooms. Now I'm not saying you can't pray for expensive things, but are these prayers selfish?
The problem with having this mentality toward God and prayer is what happens when you don't get what you want? Does it mean you don't have faith? Does is mean God doesn't love you? Treating prayer, which is a gift from God, in this way is dangerous. It can lead people away from God—unnecessarily—if it doesn't appear that He is listening or responding to their requests.
Prayer shouldn't be this complicated. We shouldn't use it to try to convince God to grant us our every wish. It's better to just pray, and trust God to answer how He will. The best example of this is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane praying before He gives His life for the sins of the world. And as He's sweating blood from the intense pressure, He prays to His Heavenly Father to take this burden away. But He concludes the prayer by saying, "Yet not My will be done, but Yours."
Jesus has complete confidence that whatever takes place will work out for the best.
As I said earlier, prayer is a gift. It's a time when we can have a holy conversation with our loving God. He cares about our wants but more than that, He cares about our needs. So the better approach is to use prayer as a way to give everything that is weighing on our hearts to God, and trust that He will respond in the way that is best for us.
This means that God might say no to your request to win the Powerball—even if you promise to give more money to the church if you win. 😊
It's easy to make our prayers grand wish lists of things we think we can't live without. Do yours resemble that kind of prayer sometimes? Do you notice it when they do?
If you pray, why do you do it? And what do you hope to get out of it?
Written by Micah Glenn
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Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
My Actions & My Intent
In recent years, I've noticed a trend: my friends and acquaintances have been justifying their not-so-great actions with the phrase, "but I'm not a bad person."
To me, that is a particularly nondescript way of defining one's self. Because at any given time, the sum of the things that do define you will be far smaller than the sum of the things that don't. I am a 27-year-old man. I am not a 26-year-old, 25-year-old, 53-year-old etc.
Doesn't it make more sense to define yourself by stating what/who you are? In other words, wouldn't it be easier to say, "I am a good person."
But therein lies the problem. That statement would force us to confront the truth: we don't feel that we are inherently good. And to make that statement and to be lying in doing so would be, well, ironic.
So, how do we define what it means to be a "good person"? That question is probably a bit too lofty for a blog post. Therefore, I will pose another: is it a worthwhile endeavor to attempt to define what it means to be good?
When I began this post, I asked a number of colleagues that question. Invariably, we all concluded that the answer was likely "Yes," but we could not put a finger on why.
In my opinion, we as humans have a unique focus on intent. It's not usually a person's actions alone that define them for us. We care about the things that led up to the action. That's why whenever a mass shooting occurs the news anchor remarks about the defendant's facial expression as they are sentenced, and we learn about the pre-existing conditions that person was living in. It is unnerving if that person sits emotionless or if it becomes apparent that there was nothing remarkable about their life before the incident. Meanwhile, we are relieved if they are repentant.
This same instinct is what allows us to forgive a child who breaks our favorite vase or writes on the wall. Likewise, this is what allows us to give our best friend a pass when they say something that offends us. We are concerned with the hearts of our cohabitants, and we understand nuance on a fundamental level.
Additionally, when we look introspectively, we attempt to define ourselves in regard to this amorphous set of values that we have been establishing internally our whole lives. And, well ... I think it's worth it. There are moments when we cut ourselves some slack because we know we don't mean to devalue our relationships when we flake out at the last minute. In that moment, our intent matters in helping define ourselves to ourselves. "I'm not a bad person."
Now we are back where we started. As I stated earlier, defining what it means to be a good person in its entirety is a fool's errand. But it does seem as though we are always doing so in part. Based on the previous example (flaking out on your friend), we see that you could hardly call yourself a good person just because your intent wasn't malicious. In this way, not being a bad person is passive.
But in order to be considered (even if it is only to some degree) a good person, you'd likely have to do something positive. Perhaps something like ... showing up? This is just my opinion, but it seems that intent alone cannot define us either. It must be paired with action.
I know these examples will be cliché, but they make the point. Mother Theresa would have just been a lady with nice thoughts if she hadn't acted in Calcutta. Kobe Bryant would have likely been another dad with unfulfilled dreams if he hadn't gone to the gym daily to work on his shot. See what I mean? Actions paired with intent define us.
The reason I say all this is to affirm something that I started this post saying. It is important to consider what it means to be a good person.
Consideration is defined on dictionary.com as
(noun)
1: careful thought, typically over a period of time
2: thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward others
Consideration spurs intent. Intent leads to actions. Actions become habits. And I would argue that habits, given time, end up weaving themselves into our legacy (the way people think of/define us). Being defined as a good person doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens in relationship. When we look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Am I a good person?", we have to consider how our actions/habits generally affect others.
And while we may never agree on the full definition of what it means to be a "good person," it's important to consider it. Because consideration can prompt change. Change is the agent of growth. And growth may just be the purpose of life.
Written by Jon Christopher
You can let us know your thoughts by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
To me, that is a particularly nondescript way of defining one's self. Because at any given time, the sum of the things that do define you will be far smaller than the sum of the things that don't. I am a 27-year-old man. I am not a 26-year-old, 25-year-old, 53-year-old etc.
Doesn't it make more sense to define yourself by stating what/who you are? In other words, wouldn't it be easier to say, "I am a good person."
But therein lies the problem. That statement would force us to confront the truth: we don't feel that we are inherently good. And to make that statement and to be lying in doing so would be, well, ironic.
So, how do we define what it means to be a "good person"? That question is probably a bit too lofty for a blog post. Therefore, I will pose another: is it a worthwhile endeavor to attempt to define what it means to be good?
When I began this post, I asked a number of colleagues that question. Invariably, we all concluded that the answer was likely "Yes," but we could not put a finger on why.
In my opinion, we as humans have a unique focus on intent. It's not usually a person's actions alone that define them for us. We care about the things that led up to the action. That's why whenever a mass shooting occurs the news anchor remarks about the defendant's facial expression as they are sentenced, and we learn about the pre-existing conditions that person was living in. It is unnerving if that person sits emotionless or if it becomes apparent that there was nothing remarkable about their life before the incident. Meanwhile, we are relieved if they are repentant.
This same instinct is what allows us to forgive a child who breaks our favorite vase or writes on the wall. Likewise, this is what allows us to give our best friend a pass when they say something that offends us. We are concerned with the hearts of our cohabitants, and we understand nuance on a fundamental level.
Additionally, when we look introspectively, we attempt to define ourselves in regard to this amorphous set of values that we have been establishing internally our whole lives. And, well ... I think it's worth it. There are moments when we cut ourselves some slack because we know we don't mean to devalue our relationships when we flake out at the last minute. In that moment, our intent matters in helping define ourselves to ourselves. "I'm not a bad person."
Now we are back where we started. As I stated earlier, defining what it means to be a good person in its entirety is a fool's errand. But it does seem as though we are always doing so in part. Based on the previous example (flaking out on your friend), we see that you could hardly call yourself a good person just because your intent wasn't malicious. In this way, not being a bad person is passive.
But in order to be considered (even if it is only to some degree) a good person, you'd likely have to do something positive. Perhaps something like ... showing up? This is just my opinion, but it seems that intent alone cannot define us either. It must be paired with action.
I know these examples will be cliché, but they make the point. Mother Theresa would have just been a lady with nice thoughts if she hadn't acted in Calcutta. Kobe Bryant would have likely been another dad with unfulfilled dreams if he hadn't gone to the gym daily to work on his shot. See what I mean? Actions paired with intent define us.
The reason I say all this is to affirm something that I started this post saying. It is important to consider what it means to be a good person.
Consideration is defined on dictionary.com as
(noun)
1: careful thought, typically over a period of time
2: thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward others
Consideration spurs intent. Intent leads to actions. Actions become habits. And I would argue that habits, given time, end up weaving themselves into our legacy (the way people think of/define us). Being defined as a good person doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens in relationship. When we look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Am I a good person?", we have to consider how our actions/habits generally affect others.
And while we may never agree on the full definition of what it means to be a "good person," it's important to consider it. Because consideration can prompt change. Change is the agent of growth. And growth may just be the purpose of life.
Written by Jon Christopher
You can let us know your thoughts by clicking here and leaving a comment.
You can let the folks at THRED know what you think by clicking here.
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