Community Is Generosity

I think when we have found community, then we have found generosity. Sharing yourself and your time with those around you is the essence of both of these ideas.

I see small generosities every day at my job and in the world. People will give up their seat for someone else on the bus, drop some change into a musician's case, or offer a hug and a friendly ear. These simple kindnesses are all around us, but what drives us to give them?

Being generous involves a gift of sorts: a giving of oneself to another. When we all begin to give to each other, we form a community.

When I think of my community, I think of the theater. It is my career, but no one gets into theater for the money. We do it because this is our tribe. These are our people. We all know the sacrifices we are making. We know the stories we want to bring to the world. We also know that in order to do some good in the world with our art, we have to be good to each other.

I work with other actors and with crew members backstage. One of the basic tenets of acting is being generous on stage. Giving another actor your full attention -- listening to them during your scene-is half of what acting is all about. Backstage we are generous in other ways: sharing cups of tea, snacks, and jokes. We do all of this because we are a community.

Being generous in my profession gives me the energy to be generous in the real world. When someone has been kind to me and has given me something of themselves that day, I find it easier to pass that on. A small cup of tea shared is a nice gift, but the time and attention one person gives to another is the greater generosity.

My community also extends to my neighborhood. On my block, we look out for each other. I have had neighbors take in packages so they wouldn't get stolen, I've returned lost mail to the rightful residence, and we all come together once a year to throw a block party where everyone shares food and drinks. When we spend time together getting to know one another, we form a bond. Yes, we are being generous in the small way of sharing food and drink, but this also feeds a larger generosity of spirit that we take with us all year.

Hopefully, we are learning to be generous to ourselves, as well. Perhaps we allow ourselves the time to grieve or to relax, or we give ourselves the space to learn and grow. Trusting your community to be generous with you when you need it is as important as stepping up when the community needs you.

This is what true generosity is all about: the ongoing simple kindnesses grow over time to form us into generous people. When a whole group of generous people come together, you have community. When you have community, you have hope and solace and love.

How do we take this out into the world? We can be mindful of other people's time and attention. Realize you are not in too big of a hurry to talk to your cashier, your mailman, or your neighbor. We can be generous to our planet by picking up some trash in the parking lot. Be generous with the gifts that you as a person possess by baking for the family with a new baby, or by volunteering to help your own children with their math homework. Once we recognize the capacity we all have for generosity, we can begin to spread it around, and we can accept it as a gift when it is given to us. Everyone is lifting everyone up, and in that way, we are all being lifted.

Written by Jess Kenyon

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Getting Real About Money and Limits

I'll be honest, I'm not writing about my financial health because I'm financially healthy. I'm writing about it because I'm not great about my money ... and it bothers me.

A lot of people in my life would say that I'm a pretty good adult -- perhaps that I have been since I was about four. It's a hazard of being an only child. And in a lot of ways it's true. When I'm presented with a task or an area of my life that I'm responsible for, I tend to grab it by the horns and figure out a system to make sure I take care of it in the rhythm of my life. I build these rhythms because to not do so leaves me in a state of overwhelming distraction where I can't be present in the moment (a.k.a. my own personal hell). So naturally, I'm pretty motivated to stay on top of things.

What makes this harder with money? It's not that I'm terrible with finances. I pay my bills on time (thanks, automatic payments), and I don't have very much debt. But I've also been working for four years, and I don't have a reasonable emergency fund, much less any other savings account that would prepare me for large future expenses, aside from a bit in a retirement account. My savings account is smaller than it was four years ago when I was three months out of college and had moved to a new city.

So, what gives? Why does a generally responsible person have a hard time bucking up and saving for expenses that I know are coming?

I think the hard truth is that I struggle with accepting limits when those limits cost me something I find important.

For example, I eat out a lot. I know I do it more than I can really afford for my income level. Sometimes I do it to be social. Sometimes I do it because I want regular access to fresh food, and I'm not willing to take time away from other things in my life to cook more than once a week. Sometimes I do it because I just need to get out of the office during the day for my mental health, and I'm not sure where else to go.

I know when I do this over and over, many times a week, I am failing to build my emergency fund. I am failing to move beyond my emergency fund and save for a house, or school for my children, or make investments that will have a higher return later because of how much time I have left for the interest to build.

Having an active social life, eating fresh food, and mixing up my environment for my mental health are all good things. Building an emergency fund, saving for my family, and keeping myself from being a burden on others when I can't work anymore are also good things. So really, I think, what's hard for me to accept is that I might not have the means to do all the things that keep me feeling like a healthy, balanced person. That I might not be able to do all the things that are, or seem to be, good for me to do.

So, I'm in denial about it. I don't feel like I should have to make that choice, so I live as though I'm not making that choice. Even though I am.

I think the solution, for me, is to get my nose into my finances more. To force myself into the reality of the fact that I'm making choices when I spend my money. And once I accept that I'm making choices, I think I'll find myself naturally making the ones I need to make. Learning to cope with the places in my life where I choose to give something up -- that will be a separate issue. But at least I'll know I'm facing the reality of my limits and doing the best I can with what I have.

Written by Megan Panarusky

Do you make any big resolves concerning your finances when the new year rolls around?

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